Stifle your inner wicca, no need to cast a spell. Though we’re sure you’ve been utterly enchanted by LVMH’s greedy vying for Hermès stock. Don’t stretch yourself beyond drastic measure. Be practical and think fast, call that obnoxious rich guy that’s been blowing your cell and exclaim with excitement “tomorrow’s my birthday.” Keep in mind, this only works once – wait, once a year.
By the time you drop-ship this doozy to your doorstep, you can own a pre-drama (more expensive) vintage version of your favorite Hermès bag for the price of a small yacht. With all the bickering over P/E ratios, looks like you’ll be holding on to this mint for inflationary long-standing value. Beyond family heirloom thrills and jealous aws, the mere fact that you were able to swindle it should bring you more luck than bragging rights. Now for that rich, guy: we’ll let you get out of this one the good ol’ fashion way…RUN! I’ll get you my pretty, and that little dog too.