Saturday, March 16th, 2013

Babble, Expat Style, Eye Spy, Fashion, Haute Press, On Campus, Photogenic, Street Style

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    Random Style: How to Emulate Your Favorite “Street Style” without looking CRAY

    Random Style Random Style: How to Emulate Your Favorite Street Style without looking CRAY

    If you’ve ever witnessed Street Style first hand, I’m sure it’s an image that sticks out in your collection of fashion memories. Street style is very hit or miss. You can either pull it off or you can’t – however I do have a lot of respect for anyone who has the courage to try it.

    Growing up near New York City, I have been cultured by the visions of street style on many occasions. When I first started noticing the trend, I didn’t understand. I wondered what these people were thinking before they valiantly stepped out of the house. Then it started to grow on me and I came to realize that there was a right and wrong way to it. Here are a couple basic tips to master the art of street style the RIGHT way.

    1) Think like a kid:
    I was thinking about what it is that attracts people to street style so much and came to the conclusion that it’s the creativity and juxtaposition of style that goes into it. Remember when you were little and played dress up? Consider that mixing of random clothing pieces and accessories your first experimentation with street style. With that said, when you’re putting together an outfit don’t overthink it – think like a kid. If you overthink, you may not get that organic result you’re looking for. Unlike a perfectly matched outfit out of a GAP ad, street style adds mystery and a sense of youthfulness to different garments that would be boring if worn alone.

    2) Consult a friend:
    You may already do this, but before you walk out the door, take a picture of yourself and send it to a truthful, fashion forward friend. It’s good to get another opinion from a different perspective – especially if they are trustworthy. Plus, if they are your TRUE friends they will definitely let you know if your outfit makes you look like you belong in the circus, and tell you if that shit “cray”.

    3) When in doubt, take it off:
    If you have any doubts that something is just TOO overbearing, DO take it off. Chances are if you’re on the fence about it, it’s not going to MAKE your outfit. Remember; trust your gut.

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    Saturday, March 16th, 2013

    Adventures in Fashion, Babble, Lovit, On Campus, Style It Up, Timeless Staple

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      #Throwback! On Campus: ‘Swag it’ Out with Sweats

      Sweats with Swag #Throwback! On Campus: Swag it Out with Sweats

      It’s 7:30 on a Monday morning. Awakened by your cell phone’s alarm, a sound that has conditioned you since week two of second semester, you jump out of bed crippled with anxiety. Scrambling to get all of your belongings together for class, you reach straight for the neon Victoria’s Secret sweats and throw your hair into a bun. More concerned about making it to class on time than looking fashion forward, you’re out the door and ready to go.

      Does this pattern sound familiar? Of course it does. Having lived on a college campus, I’ve witnessed both myself and my peers fall victim to this vicious cycle. I mean, who’s thinking skinny jeans at the crack of dawn? Certainly not me. While your appearance may be the last thing on your mind the morning after a late night study/romp session, there are ways to seep your street style swag AND still be comfy.

      While some of you may be a bit reluctant to splurge on loungewear, it’s an investment you want to look into. High-end lounge apparel brings more opportunity to the wearer to create a comfortable, high fashion outfit without looking sloppy. Sweats from stores like Victoria’s Secret are not only cliché and turn you into a walking billboard, but also limit the possibilities of the other elements in your outfit, as the sweats are just too bright and busy.

      Nailing the sweat pants look is very simple if you can keep a couple of things in mind. Here’s a list of rules that will allow you to keep the swag in your sweats.

      1. Go for neutrals. Bright tones are too distracting and defeat the purpose of dressing down.
      2. Pair your sweats with cute shoes. Instead of plummeting your outfit deeper into the lazy spiral by throwing on Uggs or moccasins, try a pair of low-heel booties. They’re comfortable, but won’t make you look like you just rolled out of bed.
      3. Texture. Texture. Texture. Sweats can be found in various different kinds of fabrics. Try out a knitted pair to mix things up and make your outfit more interesting.
      4. Accessories seal the deal. We all know that accessories have the potential to transform a look. Adding a chic necklace to a simple outfit   can make you go from blasé to Bensoni in a matter of seconds.
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      Monday, February 25th, 2013

      Babble, Blurbs, Haute Press, Love + Sex, Politics, Touché

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        #FullBlownErection Surveillance Sluts, Free Porn for the Government

        Slut Walk #FullBlownErection Surveillance Sluts, Free Porn for the Government

        Sluts.  Or maybe Posh Sluts for wearing great clothes while doing it (or nothing at all), new word for women being watched by the government, SLUTS or Prospective SLUTS…I guess that’s what we are for demanding privacy in our homes. According to Rush Limbaugh we should just take our birth control pills and give free porn to the government, after all, it’s a free country and they deserve to watch.

        Isn’t that what security clearance is for? We should all turn our lives into the True-woman show and allow the government to watch with popcorn and scream via closed circuit when they don’t like what we are doing.

        Welcome to the future. The government is always looking for a reason to get some free puss puss and apparently the Secret Service is already paying for it. Why pay for what you can get for free. If we don’t take back our civil liberties now, we won’t continue to have them for long. So enjoy the lights off, but remember, the camera is on.

        Someone ask Barack Obama how many times he’s seen me naked.

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        Saturday, January 26th, 2013

        Babble, Celebs, Haute Press, The Industry, Touché

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          You Want to Be on Top? Smize, and Start Stabbing Backs!

          Tyra Banks Ugly You Want to Be on Top? Smize, and Start Stabbing Backs!

          What does it take to be an uber supermodel, these days? Aside from manic smizing and an inflated ego, it's important to understand what moves take ordinary modeling to extraordinary measures.

          First: Have a NO friend policy, step on everyone, whatever it takes…do it. Everytime one of your peons dies, look in the mirror oh so famously and ask: Do you really want to be on top?

          Second: Philanthropy, every model has a cause…saving babies in Africa, NYU scholarships that don't exist, looney girls with boyfriends that you can provide.

          Third: Publicity, Publicity…Photoshop. If it ain't broke, touch it up, if it is, fix it!

          Fourth: Crack, plenty of crazy crack. If you aren't smoking it, you should be. Crack. Coffee. Champagne. Cigarettes. = Model Diet

          Fifth: Whore yourself into the Ivy League without an Associates, Certificate…or dare I say Bachelors. Hey! Graduate school takes less time, giving you more time to promote yourself and there are more educated people to use there.

          Sixth: Find the ugliest people in the world to be on your show, as long as they don't have your beautiful resources or regimen. Ask them if they want to be you, make them compete over being you, then ephiphimise a way for only you to win and for them to fall off, forfeiting their identity, college years and likeness.

          Finally: Confront the one model who was there before you about being "Mean" to you, when in all actually, she could smell your empty, vapid, sick ass a mile away DAY ONE!

          How's that for a puzzle piece?

          Naomi Tyra You Want to Be on Top? Smize, and Start Stabbing Backs!

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          Thursday, January 17th, 2013

          Babble, Celebs, Haute Press, High Society, Men, Touché

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            Tiger Wants Elin Back — Do We Predict A Prospective Acquisition?

            Tiger Woods and Elin Noredgren Tiger Wants Elin Back Do We Predict A Prospective Acquisition? Tiger Tiger Woods y’all! This dude is a total gem. Like, every woman’s dream man type of guy. Like, knight in shining armor type of good. What gal wouldn’t want a guy like Tiger? A guy who will surely cheat on her constantly, and with strippers no less. Cause if you’re gonna cheat, do it with a stripper, and if you are going to get caught, at least you didn't give her an STD, or at least not one without a cure!

            But anyways, we all know the story. Back in 2009, it was revealed that Tiger cheated on Elin with a ton of chicks…did we say a ton of big mouthed bitches. He would still be in matrimonial bliss had the first snitch not yelped. Wasn't there one that couldn't get a measly $200 for her years worth of deodorant or something? Anywho, when Elin found out, she smashed the back window of his Cadillac (supposedly) with a golf club, and bust him with the club as well, and then filed for divorce. Running through a pure bankroll of a measly $110 million and she’s now rebuilding a $12 million estate in Florida so she can live in her dream home and world…without Tiger but with his money, obviously.

            But that’s not the end of this fairytale. According to the National Enquirer, Tiger proposed to Elin this past Christmas. He even got down on his knee and presented her with a ring. A ring?! For a proposal?! Get out!

            Instead of going total lesbo and taking all of her friends shopping in laughter or just giving him the finger and telling him to fuck off, Elin might be considering reconciliation–but not without a cost. Drumroll, there’s a small detail I forgot to mention—he’s offering her a $200 million pre-nuptual agreement. So if they get divorced, she gets to add that to the fat pile of cash she’s already got. Score, how's that for come-back-cash. But Elin’s no idiot, so she countered back with a $350 million anti-cheating clause. And Tiger accepted! Nothing says we’ll be together forever like promising to pay your soon to be former ex-wife more than half of your total net worth should you decide to sleep with another stripper, or freak-a-little-some on the side, you're covered.

            This guy is really all about the romance…and we fell for it too, cha ching! A milli, A millionaire, I'm a Young Money Millionaire, Elin's Tougher than…Elin, we're dancing to the same tune. Now Tiger may be bumpin and grindin to another Wayne hit, and fucking every girl in the world, at least it's the same old genre. Pimping and hoeing…Verdad?

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