Ahhh, first dates. Sweaty arm pits, too many cocktails and the promise of eternal love, marriage and a truck load of babies. Sound familiar? First dates can be exhilarating and let’s face it, who doesn’t like buying new heels you can’t afford and walking into a restaurant to your own personal theme song playing in your head…Baby Got Back? I think so!
But let’s not forget, for all those first date butterflies, you also have an equal chance of meeting American Psycho or Glenn the Medieval Re-enactment Society chairman who lives with his mother. Before you pull the plug and signal your best friend to make that “emergency call” so you can make a hasty beeline for the exit, read the WAGs’ (hopefully helpful) guidelines for knowing whether your date is Mr. I’ll-see-you-again or Mr. One-date-was-enough-FOREVER.
1) The first fifteen minutes were going great. That is, until Cindy – your very blonde and very buxom waitress – brings over the water for the table. Suddenly your date’s eyes are no longer on your baby blues but are glued to Cindy’s damn jugs. And no, he’s not parched from running a marathon. The jury is split on this one; whilst we do think men tend to be visual creatures, the first date is pretty early to be checking out other talent. Though it could be a harmless habit (maybe he’s a nervous character or maybe he’s wanted by the cops!?), it can also be a sign of possible obstacles to come. If it becomes clear that he just can’t help but look at anything that’s breathing, has breasts and wearing a short skirt – it’s time to grab yourself a cab. Alone.
2) Dan is charming, well dressed and devilishly handsome…and he also happened to dissect and debate every last cent on your dinner bill when it finally comes. Was that extra scoop of ice cream his or yours? Did they really charge for water? And what do they mean the breadsticks are included in the service charge!? Oh Dan – you were doing so well. We’re clear on this one: no one likes a cheap skate on the first date – or going forward. Whilst we don’t consider ourselves gold-diggers, a calculating and stingy attitude can be a real turn off….and we doubt it will get any better by date No. 2.
3) When he checked his phone the first time, you didn’t take notice. The second, you asked if everything was okay at home. By the tenth, you were convinced he would rather be anywhere else but here. Frankly, if he can’t make you a priority on the first date, he’s probably never going to get the Lifelong Partnership Award. Unless his house is on fire, he has a critically ill aunt or Scruffy-the-dog is suicidal when left alone for more than an hour, you may not want to arrange that second date unless you’re prepared for another three-way with him and his Blackberry.
4) It’s an hour into your date and you know all about his life story, his family’s history of Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency (WHAT!?) and his Uncle Herbert’s penchant for paisley ties and well done steak. Oddly enough, you haven’t got past your name and the fact you work in HR. Hmmm – he might just be a tiny bit self-involved. Whilst confidence is key and a good talker is entertaining, there should be room for breathing and acknowledging the fact that this is a date and not a one way monologue. Ditch now or forever hold your peace.
5) Unless this guy is Michael Fassbender from Jane Eyre (in which case, tie us up and call us Jane!), sexual deviants are a big no-no. I’m eating lasagna for f**ks sake; I don’t want to hear how you want to bend me over a table the second you get a chance. This reminds us of a date one of us had…and no, it didn’t end well. While some sexual tension à la Christian Grey is very exciting, it sounds to us like this could fizzle very quickly if we can’t make it five seconds into the date without sexual innuendo.
So there you go, the WAGs guide to that all important first date. Hopefully our insight has been somewhat helpful in navigating this sometimes scary territory. Most importantly, let loose, be yourself and trust your instincts. May the odds forever be in your favour!
Contributed by the WAGs, Sophie and Aleks – Singaporean and American, two good friends with a penchant for making fools of themselves in public. Together they navigate living abroad, regularly hand out unsolicited advice on lifestyle, beauty and fashion and what it truly means to be a fabulous WAG. Check out their website, Like them on Facebook, follow them on Instagram and Twitter and watch them on YouTube…