So you’re a lady who has eyes for a ladies’ man. You are certainly not the first, and you won’t be the last. The game is rough, that’s why you need to learn how to play it. It’s been said to master the game, you must act like a guy. This is totally false. You are not a guy, you’re a girl – a woman – a femme fatale – a divine and amazing creature who is by nature (because Mother Nature is a girl, duh) much more emotionally-intelligent and intuitive than your male counterparts. You also have been blessed with this little thing called cleavage. You are a girl; you have a different (and very powerful) set of weapons, and you my dear, must utilize them. You’ve got a crush on a guy who loves to play games, but every game comes with a set of rules:
1. Avoid Jealousy and Hear-Say. When dealing with a Ladies’ Man, you are bound to run into this. Avoid it! If he is not taking the bait and you see him going after another girl, ignore it! If you hear rumors about him, ignore them! It’s hard to recover from drama especially if it happens too early on. Go about your night un-phased.
2. Be Cool With His Friends. Don’t confuse this with being “one of the guys”, because you are not one of the guys and once he sees you like that, it will be difficult to establish yourself as anything more. However, if his friends approve of you as being “cool”, this will ease his decision as to whether or not you are a keeper.
3. Keep Your Options Open. You’re a girl remember? Girls always have options. That’s just the way of the world. So even if Mr. Ladies’ Man isn’t blowing up your phone, I’m sure that nice guy from work or the guy you met last week or that guy that’s had a crush on you for five years are all within reach, don’t rule them out!
4. Keep Him Guessing. Don’t make yourself too available. Don’t answer his texts right away or break plans to hang out with him. You are really cool, and really busy (even when you are sitting at home in your flannel PJ’s watching Sex & The City reruns with your dear friends Ben and Jerry).
5. Set Your Standards High From the Get-Go. Patti Stanger says, “The first date sets the precedent for the whole relationship.” Ladies’ Man is working off of his rules, so if the only time he’s hitting you up is past midnight when he wants to meet you at the bar after being out with his friends all night – decline. Unless he is taking you out to dinner or to a movie and treating you like a lady, it’s not a good move. It’s not a good move because that’s not good enough. Period.
6. Lust Isn’t Love Sweetheart. Let him get to know you, and don’t give him any nookie. If you do, he has nothing else to work toward. You are a present in a big red bow. If you get unwrapped too early, you’ll just become a toy that he gets bored of playing with, and that effing sucks. Don’t put yourself in a position where your decision-making becomes clouded. You are worth the wait, and if he’s worth it, he will recognize this (and respect it).
7. Be Confident! Be Yourself! Never doubt yourself or try to be something you’re not. If you feel like you have to change who you are to please this guy, trust me, he’s not worth it.
8. Keep Your Guard Up. Don’t trust him too easily, but at the same time, still give him the benefit-of-the-doubt. His actions will always speak louder than his words. A lot of guys talk the talk, but many of them do not walk the walk. Don’t try to change him! Even though this seems like a fun challenge with a Ladies’ Man, it’s not. If you put yourself in a position to be walked all over, that is exactly what will happen. He will change if he WANTS to change. Remember most guys are going to tell you what they think you want to hear. Listen to him but be skeptical! He will show you how he really feels through his actions. If you start to see that it’s not going anywhere, be smart enough to walk away with your head held high.
9. Look Hot. It speaks for itself. Do your hair! Treat yourself to a mani/pedi. Keep your lips glossed and your face fresh! Dress your best, but remember there’s a fine line between sexy and trashy. If you are showing cleavage, don’t show off your legs. If you are wearing a short skirt, wear a blazer. Dress for where you are going, but also dress in such a way that leaves some things up to the imagination.
10. Do Your Own Thing. This is HANDS DOWN the absolute most important rule. It’s great if you have things in common, but you do not have to share every single one of his interests (because that would just make you a “poser”, and that’s so middle school). You have plenty going on in your own life, and if you don’t, it’s time to change that. Fill up your free time with things you truly love doing, whether it be spending time with your friends, working out, traveling, or engrossing yourself in your job or schoolwork. Never become so attached to a guy (or the idea of a relationship) that you stop feeding your own life’s loves. Whether you are in it for the long haul or it doesn’t end up working out, remember you are too precious to ever lose yourself!
If you are forced to play the game, than by all means, play it. Use your tools and use them well. However, the best guys are the ones that you don’t have to play games with. Sometimes the best relationships come from a situation where there was never a game at all. If you find someone you can have mutual honesty, respect, and trust with from the start…you’re golden!